Teen Idols

After a boring night of what American Idol called “Rock Week”. I was THRILLED to see who was going to home.

First off, the contestants ruined my favorite song, “Move Along” in their Ford Commercial. Tards!

Slash came out to perform (on guitar obviously) with the song ruiners while they lip synced. Well, I do not think they are lip syncing anymore, seeing as how there are only 4 of them. I would think they could sing together by now.

Slash talked to Ryan, but you could not see the two of them for all the hair. That sounded wrong. O_O!

Oh but wait, it gets WAY better. What old saggy boobed, push up bra wearing hag came out to sing or autotone sing? YES! That would be Paula Abdul. The performance kind of reminded me of that MTV moment with “It’s Brittney Bitch”. Only without the drugs and alcohol… oh wait, nevermind.

More old has-beens AKA No Doubt. To be honest, I like no doubt. They performed. The more and more I see people like this, the more I think. “Oh wow, I should be a famous singer, cuuuuz I can sing better than that, and even if I could not sing like that, they could totally digitally altar my voice”. Yes, I get that thought EVERY TIME!

First sent back to safety was, Kris Allen. HUH? I was SURE that little midget was going home. Who is next getting sent to safety? Flaming Lambo! HA! Oh I just thought of that new name for him. *Pats self on the back*. That would be Adam Lambert encase you did not catch mah drift.

So it was down to Allison and Danny. I knew Danny was going home after that HORRIBLE performance last night, with the ear piecing, cat murdering sound.

BUT before they gave us those results, Chris Daughtry came out to perform a song off his new CD “Insert Title Here”. I do not know what the song was called even thought he said the same thing over and over and over. Or SCREAMED IT. I think he took Danny’s High School Music Class. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh and, Kris Allen (The one with the name spelled like it sounds instead of Cha-ris) gave him a platinum record thing.

Here we go people, down to the results… (Drum roll)… “DANNY, YOU ARE… SAFE”. WHAT DID YOU SAY RYAN? HUH? You did not just say that?! “That means, Allison… you are leaving us tonight”. OKAY douche bag, I get it.

Yes, my girl Allison Iraheta is going home. *Crys*. Now, I just hope Danny or Kris wins. I’m going to vote for Danny JUST because I can. Because I like him? Nah, because he is THEE worst one and that is just how I am.

So now it is… DANNY FTW! You scream out those notes dude, you are da maaaaaaaaaaaaaan homie. You can make peoples ears bleed ALL across America.

Peace Yo I’m Out!